Everyone has a secret
Written by Tribe Leader Beck Horne
Everyone has a secret. It might feel like a quiet truth that rests inside. Or the secret might feel like a ball that is tightly held right in that spot between your heart and breast bone. Safely lulled to sleep by your beating heart.
Close your eyes and feel the secret.
The key has been lost to this hidden place so the secret stays sleeping in the darkness of complicity. Sometimes the unutterable truth bubbles to the back of your throat but is swiftly swallowed by judgement.
An urge to tell may disturb the slumber but the fear of confiding is stronger than any impulse.
The battle between connection and disconnect is the struggle of the secret.
The fear of being judged. Of not being enough. A chink in the armour of perfection.
Whose perfection? Someone else’s idea of how it should be or our own expectations?
Choosing perceived perfection over vulnerability and courage is the only way the little secret stays locked away in the vault.
An armour of perfection is not the bedfellow authenticity chooses. Instead she demands naked vulnerability and the laying down gently of secrets. Only then will you be her lover.
I have laid down in the vulnerability of my deepest, darkest secrets and found the meaningful relationships my heart so deeply craves. It took a leap of faith and some patient souls to coax the contents of my vault out into the light.
The choice was mine alone to expose the space between beating and bone. To give another human the opportunity to know what fills the space. To allow someone to reach out and offer love not judgement.
I had a vault buried in my heart space for an eternity. Unable to shine any light into the chamber of secrets left me feeling numb. Unwilling to go deeper. Keeping the world at arms-length.
Having shared what has been buried so deep has replaced pain with golden light. Fences with freedom.
I am no longer going to be complicit to the perfection game. I choose real, authentic and brave.
After sharing the contents of my vault, the greatest gift I received in return was not the lightness I felt.
It was having others open their vaults, share their truths and witness release from the weight of having a secret.